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Jesse and Mike vs The Murderer Death battle.
Hyper Anon:Alright the Combatants are set let's end this debate once and foreall. Doge and Spongebob:It's time for a death battle! It was Christmas time. Happiness and Snow was in the air. Today Jesse and Mike woke up and jumped out of beds. "This Christmas is gonna be awesome!" Mike said happily. "Yeah! I already got plans for us." Jesse said. "Today we are taking a holiday trip to a place called Robloxia." "Okay!" Mike said. "Let's go!" "I can't wait to go with you." said Dave their talking robot. Jesse and Mike walked in the car. Jesse was driving because Mike sucked at parralel parking. "Ugh! This is taking so long!" Mike yelled. "Mike, be patient. It's worth the wait." "How far is Robloxia?" Mike asked. "Oh about a hundred miles." Jesse replied. "Oh no! I think I'm gonna...." Mike gurgled. "Mike! Not on the car!" Jesse yelled. Out of Mike's mouth came a stream of vomit which flew everywhere. "You are worse than that baby!" 5 hours later. "Now you managed to kill 5 hours." "Mike! Stop it! We will be here soon!" The car parked at a blocky city. "See!" "Wow! It's beautiful." "Told ya it was worth the wait." All around them where blocky people. "Wow!" Jesse and Mike said. "These people look like legos." Suddenly they saw a small village. While exploring they found a corpse lying on the floor. That corpse belonged to the innocent named Fred. Next to him was a cheeseburger and fries that he orderered. "Well I'm hungry!" Mike said. He ate the fries and the burger. Suddenly out in the shadows was a man by the name of Dennis. He was blocky to and holding a knife. He snuck up behind them. Finally a stupid opponent. This should be easy. "You are next!" Dennis said. "Woah!" Mike said. "Never thought our Christmas would be like this. Let's get him!" Both Jesse and Mike equipped their pistols. Well so Much for a good Christmas. Fight! Jesse and Mike attacked first firing multiple pistol bullets at The Murderer. The Murderer simply dodged them. The Murderer swung his knife. It hit Jesse! "Why me!" Jesse said. "It's been the second time since I've been stabbed!" Mike threw a punch and knocked the Murderer down. The Murderer slided kicked Mike and gave a slash with his knife. Jesse fired a shot at the Murderer with his pistol. Jesse grabbed the Murderer's legs and slammed him on the floor and threw him at the ceiling. The Murderer crashed to the ground. This bought Jesse and Mike enough time to shoot at the Murderer causing blood to shoot out. The Murderer got up. "Time for a long ranged fight." As if Jesse and Mike didn't expect it, The Murderer reared back his knife and threw it at Jesse. It nailed him right in the gut! "Aaaaaah! Get this knife out of my gut!" Jesse explained. "Okay!" Mike said. Mike grabbed the Knife and Jerk it out. Splattering blood against the wall. "Ow!" Jesse yelled because well his blood was splashed. Dennis the Murderer looked at the two combatants. This was gonna be harder than he thought considering their higher than average durability. "You remind me of the Sheriff. Another Gun weilder." "Well speaking of the Sheriff, We are gonna find him and put you in jail!" Mike exclaimed. So the two went looking for the sheriff. But instead of finding a sheriff-they found a corpse named Jeff with a 6 shot relover next to it. "Well if the Sheriff can't be me what in Builderman's hairy ass thinks you can?" The Murderer sneered. "Oh, Well so much for calling the Sheriff." Mike said sadly. "Ya think Mike!" Jesse said. "He's dead." Now it was time for fighting after this pause. Jesse pulled out his dartgun and fired multiple darts. The Murderer dodged them due to his catlike reflexes and they hit a innocent named Nick. Who died instantly. And the Murderer didn't have to do anything. The Murderer ran at the combatants and repededly slashed them. Jesse hit The Murderer with his dart gun and punched The Murderer so hard he slammed into a wall. Jesse shot at Dennis the Murderer multiple times. Darts where in Dennis's body. Dennis pulled out the darts with a jerk. "There's more where that came from!" Jesse said. He pulled the trigger and nothing came out. "Actually no! I ran out of ammo. But I got more darts!" Jesse pulled out a bag of darts. He started throwing them rapidly. "Oooh! Throwing stuff. I got projectiles too" Mike said. He pulled out multiple arrows and fired them. Shortly before grabbing a bowling ball and hurled it at The Murderer. Mike resumed throwing arrows. Until Jesse and Mike ran out of Arrows and Darts! So they used other projectiles. Mike threw his pistol. "Dude!" Jesse said while throwing a spear. "Why did you waste a pistol?" "I don't care!" Mike yelled. "Well you always don't care Mike! You are the reason we might lose. Remember that time you ripped off my lip?" Dennis the Murderer taking advantage of situation pulls out a laser knife and throws it. The knife hits the wall next to them. Jesse and Mike finally pay attention to the fight and saw the knife. "Ha! You Missed." Mike said. However the Murderer didn't miss because a freaking lazer came out of the knife and hit Jesse and Mike. Jesse pulled out his pistol and fired multiple shots at the Murderer. The Murderer dodged most of the bullets. 1 more bullet left. Luck was running out. They get screwed up kinda like they do in all of their videos. Atleast they would be used to hit. Jesse fired his last pistol shot which the Murderer sliced through! Jesse threw his pistol which the Murderer sliced into splinters. Jesse pulled out a bottle of paper spray and shook it. As the Murderer walked. Jesse sprayed the spray. Which got into Dennis the Murderer's eyes. Dennis swung fractically. Missing everytime. Jesse had used up all of the pepper spray in that one shot. The Murderer recovered and pulled out a knife reared it back and threw it at Mike. Mike was stabbed in the stomach. Mike would have shaken it off. But the knife exploded sending him at Jesse. Mike was still alive. His stomach was just badly injured. When Mike got up the Murderer pulled out a fire extinquisher and fired it. At least it was a makeshift gun. Foam hit the combatants bruising them as foam covered their vision. When the foam cleared-there was no sign of Dennis. Preharps he was stupid enough to accidently obliterate himself with the explosion of foam. "Where it that knife guy?" Jesse asked. "Behind you!" The Murderer said as if he teleported. He proceeded to grab a spork? And throw it at Jesse and Mike. The Spork had no effect on Jesse and Mike but it bought the Murderer enough time to pull out the real knife and slash both J and M. "Dave! Help us!" Mike exclaimed. The robot Dave rammed into right into the Murderer's side at such a speed. "You guys hide. I hold him off." Dave threw multiple blows at The Murderer and tackled him while Jesse and Mike hide in a store. Dave ran to the store. "We should be safer here." However The Murderer got up pulled out a knife and threw it at a wall. Normally the Knife would just stick in the wall but since it was not a normal knife. It was a ghost knife. The Knife flew through the wall and hit Mike in the Stomach. "Aaaah!" Mike yelled. "Just like the old days." Jesse said. "Where we had accidents happen to each other." Both of them laughed as Jesse pulled out the knife. Suddenly Dennis the Murderer threw another knife at the wall causing an explosion. Jesse and Mike where sent flying. "What now?" Jesse asked. "Get the six shot relover sitting by the dead sheriff." Dave repplied. Jesse and Mike walked over to the sheriff. "Rock paper scissors for who gets the relover." Mike said. "Rock paper scissors and shoot." Both said. Jesse got paper Mike got scissors. Mike grabbed the Relover. The Murderer was doomed. He decided to hide and kill them later. So he ran away from Jesse and Mike and hid in the sewer. The Murderer needed an idea. Come out of sewer? No! He would get shot dead. Suddenly the Murderer had one emergency idea. Jesse and Mike where looking for The Murderer everywhere. They walked up to the treehouse and found Dennis the Murderer in it! Quickly Mike pulled out the relover and aimed it Dennis the Murderer's head. Before Dennis can react Mike pulled the trigger. From the bullet Dennis's head was obliterated into a bloody mess of brain,blood,and skull. Dennis fell over, you would fall over to if your head was shot into soup. "We did it!" Jesse said. However they say Flinn in the treehouse watching them kill Dennis. Flinn pulled out a knife. "Ha! You fell into my trap!" It turns out Dennis used shapeshift to shapeshift into Flinn where Flinn was given Dennis's body. So Jesse and Mike killed an innocent person. "Dave! Take this poor person to our car!" Mike exclaimed. "He needs a proper burial since we killed him by mistake." "On it!" Dave said and took the nearly headless body to the car. Flinn the Murderer charged at Jesse and Mike. Mike tried to shoot Flinn with the relover but Flinn dodged the bullets. Mike threw the relover at Flinn.Jesse punches Flinn with his third arm. "Yay!" Jesse said. He clapped his hands only for his third to join in. "Oh no it's a tri clap! Again!" Flinn pulled out the fire knife and threw it Jesse. Jesse was reduced with a rash on his stomach. "Aaaaaaah!" Jesse shrieked. "That reminded me of the dream I had at the beach where Me and Mike got sunburn. With a couple flammig knife throws. Boom! Flinn got the whole treehouse to burn down. Jesse and Mike hit the ground. They had broken ribs and stuff. Quickly Mike threw a kick at the Murderer knocking him to the ground. He wrestled him and Jesse joined in. "Shit!" Flinn the Murderer exclaimed. He was met with punches on the face. "Oh my Builderman! You are tough!" Quickly the Murderer pulled out the invisible knife and became insivsible. He became visable behind Jesse and Mike. Flinn pulled out the Telsa knife. Designed by Nicola Telsa himself. Flinn swung the knife electricuting them. Jesse and Mike have stains of you know what on their pants. "Not again!" Jesse exclaimed. Jesse and Mike where left with nose bleeds but still alive. Mike pulled out his Flamethrower and blasted it at The Murderer. The Murderer equipped his bullet proof upgrade. He was engulfed and the bullet proof upgrade was almost instantly knocked out. The Murderer was fried and so was a car nearby him. Unfortanately the fire set off the engine of the car! The car exploded in a fireball sending Jesse and Mike and the Murderer everywhere. Jesse and Mike had supreme durability so they only had minor burns. The Murderer however was covered in black marks,wounds,and blood. But he still was willing to fight due to his sheer insanity. His eye started to twitch. He pulls out his Flamming knife and slashed him multiple times burning them as well as most of the city. Innocents started to run and tried to put out the fire with their fire extinquishers. What a christmas unless someone wanted their city to burned down. "Talk about a "good Christmas" Mike said. "Is the 5 hour trip still worth it Jesse?" "I want to have a good Christmas as much as you do." Jesse replied sadly. "Can we just kill him and get this over with and maybe we will have some pie." "Atleast I will get my Christmas gift...." The Murderer said. "Killing you!" The Murderer threw multiple exploding knifes which exploded sending Jesse and Mike flying in the air.When they landed they saw knife planted around them. The knife emitted lasers leaves wounds and scars all over. The Murderer threw multiple electric knifes electricuted them for a long time causing them to fall down like some kind of a torture device. The Murderer grinned at his makeshift combo. Never hd two idiots had ever been so accident prone to his trap and strategies. He was gonna tear them into pieces in a few more combos. That is until he felt something tear into his arm. He looked and saw Jesse holding a nail gun. The Murderer pulled the bloody nail out his arm.Jesse pulled out a drill while Mike pulled out a hammer. Jesse stabbed the Murderer with the drill splattering blood across the Earth. Jesse REALLY wanted not to miss out on the Christmas Party. Mike was whacking The Murderer's skull in with the hammer. He also REALLY wanted to get his hands on that feast and wanted to go to the Party as much as Jesse. The Murderer's skull started to break. Suddenly the Murderer threw an explosive knife at both brothers sending them flying across the City. This fight was about to get real. Their Determination was about to get higher. Jesse and Mike got up. And insted of badass music playing. This played. What? Christmas was around the corner. I had to play this. It's holliday theme. So Jesse and Mike rapidly punched The Murderer to the beat of the Music. While the Murderer pulled out his knife and slashed Jesse and Mike to the beat of the music. All three combatants where covered in blood. Until Jesse called for some help. "Dave!" Jesse cried. "I'm coming to the rescue Jesse and Mike!" Dave walked up to the Murderer. "Oh no you don't!" The Murderer said and threw a knife at Dave. The knife impaled the poor robot's chest and broke through the metal shorty before cutting through wires. Dave started short circuting. "Now I know how you feel in all your accidents." Dave said. "Nobody messes with Dave!" Mike said. Mike grabbed Flinn's knife and threw it out of his hands. The Murderer only pulled out another knife. And Jesse and Mike absolutely knew. That this wasn't a normal knife. Jesse, Mike,and Dave ran but The Murderer threw the knife. The Knife landed in Mike's leg. The knife exploded blowing up Mike's leg. Mike's legs was a mess of flesh,blood,skin,and muscle. It was still intact though. "Aaaaah!" Mike screamed. "Jesse,I can't walk!" So Jesse carried Mike to the car. Dave was in the back seat. Jesse drove the car at The Murderer. Not even Flinn the Murderer's 0.3 reaction speed could save him. The Car hit him. The Murderer was still alive and attempted to crawl up the car. But Jesse pressed a button and Flinn the Murderer was hit with the windshield wipers. Flinn The Murderer threw 2 explosive knifes blowing up the windshields. Eventually the Car slammed into a wall sandwiching Flinn The Murderer between the car and the wall. "Shiiiiiiit!" Flinn The Murderer said. This in the process splattered Flinn the Murderer's blood everywhere. The Blood painted the entire wall as it began to dry ruining the paint job. Flinn The Murderer was still alive he couldn't move because his spine was broken. He fell over and landed on the winsheild and the front compartment of the car/engine. Flinn The Murderer vommitted blood everwhere. Blood painted the car. Flinn The Murderer had blood dripping all over his head. Jesse and Mike backed the car letting the Murderer fall over. This time the Murderer didn't shapeshift. This time it was really the Murderer. The Murderer was going to be humaliated at his funeral for losing to a pair of idiots. Jesse and Mike drove off. "It was still better than my previous Christmases." Mike said. "Yep, It sure is." K.O.! Jesse and Mike drive away wrecklessly while A innocent sprays the Murderer with a fire extinquisher as multiple innocents are seen dancing and are rewarded with credit rain. Doge:If only they show you that shit in mad Murderer. Hahahahah The Mudererer lost to 2 idiots. Hyper Anon:This battle was close. Both Jesse and Mike and The Murderer where experts at being criminals. However The Murderer was better at killing and was stealthier. While The Murderer was smarter he was outclassed everywhere else. Jesse and Mike are stronger able to beat up multiple foes,lift a body,and imapale each other with ease multiple times. While The Murderer was faster on foot he doesn't always suceed in dodging relover bullets. Spongebob:But since Jesse and Mike have a car so yeah. Even a normal Car can outsuceed a 0.3 reaction speed and Jesse and Mike's car outran a T-rex! Jesse and Mike where also more durable. Having being impaled multiple times similar to the knife's affects as well as taking similar things to the Murderer's upgrades while the Murderer can be killed by a stray bullet or knife and his greatest durability feat is tanking one bullet. Jesse and Mike actually have more combat experience because they fight dangerous animals,zombies,and robbers for a daily basis for 8 years while The Murderer never really been in a fight he just usually massacres people not to mention he has only been killing for 1 year. Doge:When it all came down to weapons. Jesse and Mike's shitload of stuff vs The Murderer's knife, while The Murderer's upgrades may be able fucking brutilate people and have much better affects Jesse and Mike get the shit beat out of them by other stuff extremely similar to most of their upgrades. The Murderer thanks to his weak ass durability would get easily killed by a lot of the stuff Jesse and Mike surprisingly have. Hyper Anon:Jesse and Mike were better at hand to hand combat due to them fighting each other in several of their videos as well of other foes, The Murderer on the other hand doesn't have much psychical feats. The Murderer may be smarter but most of the time his plans fail and he has to rush,even Jesse and Mike did screw up Dave would always be there to save them. Spongebob:While the Murderer's knife may have a lot of effects, think of it this way. "Would the Murderer's advanced knifes be able to penetrate Jesse and Mike's skin?" Due to them surviving stuff no human can't, probably not. Besides despite the Murderer's upgrades, Jesse and Mike had much more destructive potential able to impale each other and give each other seriously wounds..........on accident. Just think of what they can do it on Purpose. Doge:Looks like the Murderer was......... well......Murderered. The innocents are gonna Jesse and Mike this because The Murderer died and their city is safe. Hyper Anon:The Winner is Jesse and Mike. Jesse and Mike=Winner +Stronger +Faster Via Car +More durable +More Experience ' '+Fought Tougher Foes. +Better at Long Range and Hand to hand combat. +Weapons had better affect on the Murderer than the Murderer's upgrades had on Jesse and Mike. +More weapons. +Murderer's Knifes wouldn't penetrate the skin. +More destructive potential +Dave can save them from Screwing up '-Dumber by a landslide.' '-WeaponsWeapons' '-Not as Strong' '-Slower than Jesse and Mike's car.' '-MUCH less durable' '-Less experience.' '-Outclassed in Long Range and Hand to hand combat.' '-Less weapons' '-Jesse and Mike's weapons can affect the Murderer badly/The Murderer's knifes wouldn't even penetrate Jesse -and Mike's skin.' '-Plans usually fail' '-Usually rushes in.' '-Less destructive potential.' Epilouge ' ' Jesse and Mike managed to home. They came in just in time for the Christmas Party. Meanwhile Dave had his chest repaired from getting impaled while Mike had an bandage around his leg. Dave was burying Dennis's the innocent's corpse. "Jesse! Look it a miracle." Jesse looked and saw pine trees growing out of Dennis's grave. Here is what happened Dennis's body was decomposing and fertalized trees! "Wow! Wherever Dennis is he must be proud of his work." Meanwhile up in the clouds Dennis is seen in Heaven with Flappy Bird, Shadow,and Other Death Battle losers celebrating Christmas. Dennis looks down at Jesse and Mike and grins happily. Now that, that emotional stuff is out of the way Jesse and Mike resumed to celebrate their party and opened their gifts. Mike got what he wanted for the first time A Death Battle DVD. This was one hell of a christmas as Jesse and Mike started to dig into the pie while watching B.B. Hood vs Peacock. They all live happily ever after. The end.